Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Growing up in my family, I was an overweight kid surrounded by a mother and three older sisters who were thin and in my eyes beautiful. From the time I hit puberty, I began to developed an inferiority complex about my chubby body when I compared it to their slender ones and went to considerable lengths to make sure that they never saw me naked because I was so ashamed of being a fat ugly myopic duckling.

My closest friend in secondary school was about twice my size and she had none of the hang ups about her body that I had about mine. When I visited her she would change her clothes in front of me the way my sisters and mother did and not think twice about it. I was in awe of her complete lack of self-consciousness about the size and shape of her body.

I never grew out of those early feelings of physical inferiority, so when this self-improvement tape that I'm listening to (Paul McKenna's "I can make you Thin") to try to "fix my head", suggested that I do an exercise to make peace with my body as it is, I was all for it.

Just getting to the stage, however where I could look at myself in the mirror completely naked took lots of courage and actually doing the suggested exercise of telling the parts of my body I hate that I love them felt incredibly silly ... but after having been doing this for just a few days, I found myself thinking as I looked in the mirror this morning that I look like a brown Rubens nude. Obviously the though caught me by surprise, but it also made me feel ... beautiful just as I am. Now, this doesn't mean that I'm ready for a playboy spread or anything, but I was filled with such feelings of self-acceptance, that I blurted out to my husband over breakfast that maybe I was thinking that I wanted to start thinking about the idea of maybe walking around the house naked. He was all for the idea to say the least ... but who knows, maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and chalk the whole idea up to momentary insanity.

Anyway, weighed in today and lost 1.6kg./3.6lbs. Yay!!!


  1. I'm not comfortable with my own nakedness either, fat or thin, doesn't matter. Maybe because I grew up with NO sisters so didn't have anyone that I undressed in front of? Not sure.

  2. Hurray!!! Congratulations on the loss - and on your new acceptance of who you are!

    I always felt fat - even when I wasn't. My parents freaked out when I hit puberty, put on a little padding (that would later rearrange itself into breasts and hips) - so this has been a long-standing problem for me. My husband has always gone for the little toothpick girls, so I was a little shocked when he asked me out. He said he fell in love with the me inside and he loved the "plush" me outside and has developed a new appreciation for women who AREN'T skinny... It helped me accept myself as I am. It doesn't mean that I like it or want to stay this way. I know my health depends on losing some of this extra - but I'm okay with it in progress.

  3. Way to go on your loss!! YAY!

    That is wonderful that you are beginning to feel beautiful just the way you are, I think that is an important part of this weight loss journey. Not just changing the way we look outside, but also the way we feel inside. :)

  4. Hey Nona, Thanks for checking up on me. I'm back! :)

    First congrats on your weight loss but even better, congrats to you for being comfortable and learning to love your body! This is just wonderful. SOunds like you are doing great girl.. and I'm sure your husband is going to love your lack of clothes in the house, lol!

  5. Walking around naked is the best way to get to know yourself again. We spend so much time trying to hide this or minimize that we lose an appreciation for what we have. I've always been a naked girl big and bigger. Sometimes when I don't see myself in the mirror for a long time I start thinking that I'm thinner than I actually am and get shocked back into reality when I bare it all.

    Being naked keeps me honest.

  6. I think it is fantastic that you have come to feel comfortable with you as you are! Our husbands just don't see what we see....they see you naked and that is it...not you naked with flaws :) They love us no matter what....good on around naked I say!!

  7. Oh my husband would be all about me walking around the house naked Men. I think it's so important to accept our bodies as is...even if we are working towards changing them. Hard concept and one I'm still working on.

  8. Congrats on the loss! I can't wait till classes end so that I can tackle this weight-loss thing. I'll have loads of time then and I'm looking forward to some fantastic weight losing this summer.

    I love that you saw yourself as that painting. And I'm all for you walking around naked in your house. It's your home! Let us know how that goes...haha.

  9. Thanks for your comments on my new little blog, yours is AMAZING! I have blog envy! Congrats on the weightloss! Keep up that Positive Mental Attitude! xx

  10. And the other good news is that the quicker you learn to love your body and accept it for what it is, the easier you will find keeping the weight off. It will become about being slim and fit because you WANT those results, not because you feel you OUGHT to be thinner or that you hate your fat body. So much more positive and easier to maintain.

    Any element of shame about our weight and our bodies is so misplaced but so hard to get rid of, so well done for taking those crucial first steps.

    Lesley x

    PS - I'm naked now...tee hee...

  11. I haven't been around in a while and just wanted to say, "Hi"

  12. OK, I'm not for walking around in the nude personally (just not my thang :)), but I think it is good to be thankful and enjoy the body you are in. It is our temple, after all. What a good reminder to continue to work on the way I think about myself.

    It is a good point made about seeing yourself naked, or at least in your bra and underwear. It does give a different perspective. I'm enjoying seeing my curves a bit more, and the fat a bit less.

  13. I found the lyrics and the name of the artists that sing the sections. Maybe you can look them up if you are interested in their music. ENJOY!

    Young Artists For Haiti – Wavin’ Flag Lyrics

    When I get older
    I will be stronger
    They’ll call me freedom
    Just like a wavin flag

    Born from a throne
    Older than Rome
    But violent prone
    Poor people zone

    [Nelly Furtado]
    But it’s my home
    All I have known

    [Sam Roberts]
    Where I got grown
    but now its gone

    [Avril Lavigne]
    Out of the darkness
    in came the carnage
    threatening my very survival

    [Pierre Bouvier of Simple Plan]
    Fractured my streets
    and broke all my dreams

    [Tyler Connolly of Theory of a Deadman]
    Feels like defeat to wretched retreat

    So we strugglin’

    [Kardinal Offishall]
    Fighting to eat

    And we wonderin’

    [Kardinal Offishall]
    If we’ll be free

    [Jully Black]
    We cannot wait for some faithful day
    it’s too far away so right I’ll say

    [All - Chorus]
    When I get older
    I will be stronger
    They’ll call me freedom
    Just like a waving flag
    (And then it goes back x3)

    Ahhho ahhho ahhho

    So many wars, settling scores
    [Deryck Whibley of Sum 41]
    All that we’ve been through
    and now there is more
    [Serena Ryder]
    I hear them say love is the way
    [Jacob Hoggard of Hedley]
    Love is the answer that’s what they say
    [Emily Haines]
    But were not just dreamers
    of broken down grievers
    [Hawsley Workman]
    Our hand will reach us
    and (?)
    This can’t control us
    no it can’t hold us down
    [Chin Injeti]
    We gon pick it up even though we still struggling
    [Pierre Lapointe]
    Au nom de la survie (In the name of survival)
    and we wondering
    [Pierre Lapointe]
    Battant pour nos vie (Fighting for our lives)

    We patiently wait
    for some other day
    [Fefe Dobson and Esthero]
    thats too far away so right now we say

    [All - Chorus]

    [Drake - Rapping]
    Uhh – well alright
    How come when the media stops covering
    and there’s a little help from the government
    we forget about the people still struggling
    and assume that its really all love again, nahh
    see we don’t have to wait for things to break apart
    if you weren’t involved before it’s never too late to start
    you probably think that it’s too far to even have to care
    well take a look at where you live what if it happened there?
    you have to know the urge to make a change lies within
    and we can be the reason that they see their flag rise again
    lyrics courtesy of

    [Nikki Yanofsky & Drake]
    When I get older
    I will be stronger
    They’ll call me freedom
    Just like a wavin’ flag

    [Matt Mays]
    and then it goes back
    [Justin Nozuka]
    and then it goes back
    [Nikki Yanofsky]
    Then it goes back

    [Chorus - All]

    [Justin Bieber]
    When I get older
    When I get older
    I will be stronger
    just like a waving flag.


What's it all about Alfie?