Saturday, 13 October 2007

Day 198 - 7th Anniversary

Today my honey and I are celebrating our 7 year anniversary of not being married. People are often curious about why we haven't gotten married, our families probably more than anyone else.

James and I met when we were both working for the same company on Wall Street in New York City. Neither of us belonged there really and when we met we had the instant connection of fellow misfits. We were best mates for about eight months before he put the moves on me. We have had a remarkably easy relationship. I say "remarkably" because I had a pretty awful relationship track record before meeting him.

James is a good human being and I love and admire him for that. He is kind, gentle, honest, generous, emotionally available, reliable, socially-politically aware and active. extremely bright, financially responsible, adventurous, great fun to be with and most importantly he is completely devoted to me me me. I have never had anyone have so much faith in me and my abilities or be so nurturing and supportive ... not even my parents.

So why aren't we married? Well, James asked me about a year after we started going out and I said yes but we're rather bohemian and, as the English say, not really "bovvered" about being married or not so we really never got around to going beyond agreeing to marry and I don't know if we ever will. I think it's sort of like in that moment we acknowledged our commitment to each other and that's all we needed. If we wanted to have children, I'm sure we would have gotten married a long time ago, but since neither of us want to have children and the EU legally recognises domestic partnerships, we don't seem to have much incentive or reason to marry. Not a very romantic answer I know, but there you have it.

For our anniversaries we don't usually exchange gifts, just cards and tonight we will go out for dinner. I am going to eat very lightly during the day because I want to save my calories in case I want to have dessert.

B - 227
1 apple - 72
250 ml of soymilk - 155

L - 230
250ml of soymilk - 155
3 raw carrots - 75

S - 221
20g cashews - 114
30 g dries banana - 107

Appetizer - Goat cheese, date chutney & walnut bread
Main - Pan seared Halibut with mash and greens
Dessert - Sundae

Calories - 678 known calories and a gazillion unknown ones
Exercise - 1 hr. tennis
Water - 6 cups


  1. Happy Anniversary! I am not married either but have been with my boyfriend for over two years and will probably be with him for the rest of our lives. Am I in a rush to get married? absolutely not. I feel the same way you do. Well, have a wonderful evening!!! BTW - I will be in NYC on Tuesday for several days. WooHoo!

  2. Because the states doesn't recognize domestic partnerships as... thoroughly as they should, there are plenty of LEGAL reasons to get married here. Like deciding to pull the plug, should your significant other become a vegetable or inheritance rights or support rights. Insurance companies also make sure that marriage is a good thing and co-habiting is not.

    But happy anniversary on being together for 7 years!!! What's for dinner?

  3. Happy Anni to you!!!
    I can see the diff in your photos below... always good to look at to help spur us on...
    I am not phased about getting married either.. been there done that... haha.. too hard to get out of I say!!! ;o)

  4. You don't need to be married to be "romantic", I think your guy sounds plenty romantic to me.

    I believe in fate and it sounds like you two were put into the place "where you didn't belong" for a reason. Have a happy anniversary.

  5. How wonderful! James sounds just beautiful Nona, and you deserve to be treated well! I got sick of calling David 'my partner', and fantasized about being 'Mrs'.

    I really, REALLY envy your life. You are so totally fulfilled, without living the traditional dream like all the rest of the sheep. Mikaela said to me the other day "Mum, I'm going to cry when I have babies it's going to hurt so much". (this was after watching a cow have a calf) I told her that she doens't HAVE to have a baby. She looked at me with a puzzled expression.. 'REALLY Mum???!'. Well, Yeah.... really, you CHOOSE to have children and you can CHOOSE not to have them. You may want to travel the world, or chase tornados, or you may just like being answerable to yourself. Mikaela had just automatically presumed that all women have children at some point.
    I have always wanted a baby. But, I often wonder what my life would be like without kids. Sleeping in, concentrating on my career, having money to spend on myself... You are living my dream of my alter ego 'Livy the tornado chasing career woman', and that's why I love your blog so much.
    Give James a hug for me, and one for yourself.... Congratulations to you both!!! (Kisses and warm firm hugs)

  6. So how did you get from Wall Street to Europe? Sounds like an adventure! Congrats on your anniversary!


What's it all about Alfie?